This clip from The Today Show in 1984 does a good job about answering a lot of the questions I had about the haunted toaster (does fire come out, is it happy or sad, is it good at making toast) but there are still a few lingering, like:
Have you ever looked inside?
If no: DO NOT LOOK INSIDE!
If yes: I’m imagining a tiny claymation Hell scene. Is that correct?
Do you ever talk to the toaster? Is it ever nice, or is it always just mean?
Do you think it’s lonely?
A few years ago I had a toaster and when I put a piece of toast in and pulled the lever down A MOUSE POPPED OUT. Do you think that is worse or not as bad as your toaster?
That was a trick question, it was much worse and then I DID buy a new toaster.
Do you have feelings for the spirit (Satan, presumably) that possesses the toaster?
It’s fine if you do! Seriously, no judging. It’s probably nice to have someone around all the time who you can depend on, no matter who they are.
And that would help to explain why you don’t want to get rid of it. Seriously, no judging.
What if it breaks? Will you repair it?
Where is it now?
Where are you now?
R U ok?
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